Five Things Good Fathers Shouldn't Do

This is from the web site, All Pro Dad, but I am adjusting it a bit for us divorced dads.  The core principles remain the same.  The link to the full article precedes and follows.

• Substance Abuse/Pornography
  Whether it's drinking, smoking, or pornography - if they're not good influences on your children, you don't need to be doing them.  Whatever you do your children will want to emulate.  Whatever you do will affect you in some way and will, in turn, affect your children.  These may be seen as coping mechanisms, something to get you through the frustrations or depression of when they're not with you, or any of a number of rationalizations, but the short story is that if you don't want your kids doing it or being affected by it, you don't need to be doing it.
• Financial Carelessness
  We divorced dads have tighter budgets than most.  We have child support, we may have alimony, we surely have court costs, and many times we have to buy everything for our house that the kids already have at her house - in addition to our own residence.  We have to be responsible with our finances.  We also do not need to complain about child support and/or alimony to our children, whether or not we think or know that some or all of it never makes it to them.  It also gets back to being a good example.  If we're careless with our money, how can we expect our children to be responsible with theirs?
• Disrespectful Abandonment
  It's one thing to take a golf day, or a fishing day or say late at work when your kids are with you every morning, every evening, and every weekend.  It's another thing to take days when we only see our children occasionally.  When you have your kids - you need to be with your kids.  Unless there is an emergency, you don't need to be getting a baby-sitter or leaving them with a family member for any lengthy period of time - particularly if it's habitual.  It's not good for the kids and their relationship with you, and it gives your ex valuable ammunition in any action that she may take against you or in any effort you may have towards her or custody.  When your kids are with you, you need to be with them.
• Foul/Mean Speech
  Once again, your children will want to be like you.  You are a powerful influence on them - for good or for bad.  Foul language, mean language, and especially derisive speech toward their mother, are all very negative influences on them.  Teach them decency, manners, politeness, consideration, and humility.  You can stand up for your children without tearing down their mother.  You can be a good dad even if you feel the courts are standing in your way.  How you speak will greatly affect how they see you, and how you influence them.
• Free and Easy Living
  This is a tricky one for us divorced dads, for much of the time we ARE able to live free and easy.  When we don't have our kids, we are essentially single adults and we can pretty much do what we want.  But we need to make sure that those behaviors don't become habitual.  When we have our kids, we need to provide them with structure and responsibility.  We need to make it as much of a home as possible, just like we would if we were married.  They need to have responsibilities at your house.  They need to be disciplined when needed at your house.  They need to have at least somewhat of a schedule (even though it's usually the weekends when we have them).  You need to show responsibility and self-discipline as well.  The habits they get into at your house can negatively impact your children at their mother's house.  You may not like her, and you may actually hate her, but don't put your kids in the middle by getting them used to rules - or lack of rules - that you know will create problems at their mother's house.

Remember, everything you do and say influences your children - and can do so even when they're not with you.  And anything you do and say can also be held against you in court.  Be mature, be decent, be polite, be responsible, be committed, and be the better person.

Original Article: 5 Activities Good Fathers Should Stop Doing