Fathers and Daughters

We learn very quickly growing up that boys and girls are different.  Unfortunately, as fathers, we don't always learn so quickly that sons and daughters are different.  Recently I came across an article entitled 50 Rules for Dads of Daughters.  The entire list is available by following the link, but below are some of the ones that struck me as the most relevant, particularly for dads of divorce (and I paraphrased them a bit):

• Hardest for us, but perhaps most important: Treat her mother with respect - both directly and indirectly. When your daughter grows up, the odds are good she’ll fall in love with and marry someone who treats her much like you treated her mother. Good or bad, that’s just the way it is.
• Today she’s walking down the driveway to get on the school bus. Tomorrow she’s going off to college. Don't waste a second.  Take advantage of every opportunity.
• Ice cream covers over a multitude of sins. Know her favorite flavor.  In fact, know her favorite everything - animal, color, song, etc.  Get to know your daughter.
• Take it easy on the presents for her birthday and Christmas. Instead, give her the gift of experiences you can share together, and don't get caught up in competing with her mom when it comes to gifts.
• Few things in life are more comforting to a crying little girl than her father’s arms. Never forget this.
• Take her swimsuit shopping. Don’t be afraid to veto some of her choices, but resist the urge to buy her full-body beach pajamas.  Teach her modesty, but also to be comfortable in her own skin.
• Never, ever miss her birthday. Years later, she won’t remember the present you gave her. She will remember if you weren’t there.
• She’s as smart as anybody. Make sure she knows that.
• Teach her to change a flat. It's important they learn responsibility and independence from their father.
• Tell her she’s beautiful. Say it over and over again. Someday an animated movie or “beauty” magazine will try to convince her otherwise.  Let her hear it most from her father and she won't be as likely to seek it from others instead.
  
• Learn to say no. She may pitch a fit today, but someday you’ll both be glad you stuck to your guns.
• Dance with her. Start when she’s a little girl or even when she’s a baby. Don’t wait until her wedding day.  Be her prince.
• Of course you look silly playing peek-a-boo. You should play anyway.  You look perfect to her.
• Pray for her. Regularly. Passionately. Continually.
• Always be there. Quality time doesn’t happen without quantity time. Hang out together for no other reason than just to be in each others presence. Be genuinely interested in the things that interest her. She needs her dad to be involved in her life at every stage. Don’t just sit idly by while she adds years to her life.  Add life to her years.

Life is short, opportunities are finite, and your presence in her life is irreplaceable. If you're not there, she will look for that elsewhere.  Be there for her - not for you.